There are many silent rules about being the perfect wedding guest and I am here to shout them out to you. No one wants to be “that” girl at the wedding, am I right? As you would guess, I have been to my fair share of weddings and some of these common-sense tips are well, not that common!

Stick that RSVP, back in the mail.

So, you got invited to a wedding and you plan on going, that’s great! Now, TELL them. Couples send out RSVPs for a reason, folks! They want to be sure there is enough food for your tummy and a place for you tuckus to sit while you eat that food! Be respectful and plop that “yes” back in the mail, won’t ya?!

Be invited.

I thought this was a no brainier but recently I attended a wedding where I heard a woman loudly expressing on the dance floor that she was not even invited to “this wedding!” I do not have much to say on this because well, I shouldn’t have too, right? If you are not invited, lady…see the paragraph above and learn a little about the importance of the “r” word, please!

Be polite and bring a gift.

Bring the couple a gift. Chances are they probably have a registry, stick to it! If you know the couple well, you are probably going to spend a bit more then you would if you hardly know them but regardless of the friendship scale here, you are attending, probably eating and taking up a chair or two. YES, they are totally happy, I am sure! However, bringing a gift is an important gesture to send them your congratulations and appreciation for inviting you to share in the start of their journey as husband and wife! If you would rather, give cash! Many couple love adding this to their honeymoon fund!

Save your Shots.

Social media is our friend, most of the time. During the same wedding where a random lady thought she should attend without an invite, the priest kindly reminded the guests not to take photos of the day to post on social media. Understandably, the bride and groom wanted the first photos to be from myself, the photographer. It made me a little sad that this had to be said. Again, common sense, yes? However, let’s take a second and talk about it. Would you prefer the first photo of yourself as a bride to be posted while your eyes are half closed, mid-sentence talking to Aunt Hilda? Or would you rather the photo be a perfectly captured image of your new husband, yourself and a breathtaking view? Save the candid shots for the bride, privately and see if she would like them shared with the world, first and possibly, on another day!

Hold the WHITE!

White. Don’t do it. No white, people! Not the cute little white dress that you’ve been dying to wear that’s hanging out in your closet. NO. Plan to add a bold statement piece or cardigan so it is clear you are NOT the bride?! Still, no. Let’s spell it out clear, NO WHITE, NO IVORY, ever! There are so many other colors in the rainbow, guys. White is off limits today, unless you are the one changing your last name.

I’ll end with this. As bluntly and lovingly as possible, today is not your day. If you are a bridesmaid, mother of the groom or bride, a childhood friend or co-worker, remember–today is NOT about you! If you don’t think the food is good, totally fine. Don’t love the décor, color selection or cake? Let’s be frank, that’s okay but it doesn’t matter. When you get married, you can wear white, serve whatever you wish, keep or ditch traditions. This is a day where two people become one, the beginning of a forever journey together. Respect your loved ones and make today about them.