2024 Summer Term Reflection
Wow. This term isn’t over yet, there are 9 days left and I am seriously questioning myself if I can finish this term. This term has been a roller coaster of personal and professional chaos that I let impact me in detrimental ways…as in I have 9 days before term ends and 52 assignments left to complete. I KNOW I can do it, but I also question myself if I can do it. But with everything I have gone through this term, I have to keep going, even if it is out of sheer stubbornness.
Some of the events that have happened this term were minor, some were major, some were in the middle. So even if no one reads this, even if this list is only for myself simply as a form of self-therapy, here are all of the events that affected me this term:
The first 2 weeks of term, I did not have childcare.
The very first day of the term, I received a mental health diagnosis that altered how I look back on many parts of my life, and made it so I needed to change how I move forward including putting a very large emphasis on self-care and a journey of fighting for my physical and mental health throughout the term (which did end up in the diagnosis of a chronic illness that I turned out to have a severe case of).
The second day of the term I photographed the sweetest 35 week baby girl born sleeping, the first client as a student midwife that experienced a stillbirth.
The third week of term I was offered a great opportunity to work part time at a birth center as their outreach coordinator, while it is an amazing opportunity and needed financially, it meant adjusting my time management even more for school.
I missed my daughter’s kindergarten graduation for a birth and some of our support system…was no longer quite as supportive of this journey.
The fifth week of term we went on a weekend vacation and my 6 year old ended up with pneumonia that eventually ended us in the ER and many nights of no sleep while monitoring her oxygen.
Between vacation and ending up in the ER with my daughter, my dad got in a very bad motorcycle accident.
Summer…with three kids…two of which have June birthdays…potty training a stubborn toddler…all the kid things…
One of my closest friends was diagnosed with grade IV astrocytoma glioblastoma.
I am probably forgetting more because I have purely been in survival mode this term.
Even though didactically I have not struggled with understanding the concepts and the material is not difficult for me, finding the motivation and the time to complete my didactic work has been challenging at best.
Clinically on the other hand, I feel as though I have been able to grow exponentially both doing prenatal and postpartum appointments with my preceptor and in my new role at the birth center. I wish I had more opportunities to use the skills I have learned in class and to continue to develop skills I have been working on at births, but I am hoping that I will be able to focus more on that next term.
This term has been hard and made me question my decision to go down this path many times, but it has opened so many doors for me. I started going to mindset coaching which includes hypnotherapy, I have done deep dives into my beliefs and values, I am more mindful of my strengths and weaknesses, I am fighting to be heard regarding my physical and mental health and have something done about it, I am doing my best…
Now back to those 52 assignments so I can start Fall term renewed…and to have the energy to get ahead at the beginning of term.
