Ever heard the saying “opposites attract”? It can be true, and when it is, it doesn’t mean the relationship is easy. Well, is any relationship easy? But, being opposite from your partner can feel like one of the biggest roadblocks there is. Here are my top 3 to guide your way through this obstacle.
- Communicate. This is my solution to basically every marital problem there is. Just talk! Neither person in the relationship is a mind reader, your partner has NO IDEA what is wrong, how you are feeling, or even aware you are feeling any type of upset. They might have an idea that something might be wrong, but they won’t KNOW until you talk about it. Check out my blog “How to Communicate with a Quiet Husband” for all of my communication tips.
- While you are communicating, make a plan. Make a plan for when those differences start causing issues. One of Dominic and I’s biggest differences is money. But we have a similarity in that both of us are AWFUL at budgeting. We have tried everything out there short of hiring someone (I wanted to, he didn’t, difference). So we sat down and came up with a plan to figure out what worked for US. Playing on our strengths and creating a support for our weaknesses. Basically what it comes down to, is I like to shop, and when we are trying to save money, Dominic believes in just not spending ANY money, which almost makes me start to feel claustrophobic and any itty bitty tiny thing extra I would buy, I would feel INCREDIBLY guilty. So we came up with a middle ground, and it is working great!
- Remind yourself why you love them. Those little quirks, are probably one of the things you LOVED about your partner when you first started dating. Make a list of why you fell in love with them. I bet those reasons you feel like you are too opposite, are some of the reasons you fell in love. One thing I love about Dominic is that he is so laid back. But he doesn’t like getting dressed up. I love doing my hair and make up, getting my nails done, and getting dressed up. And I started to wonder if it was a turn off for him. If he wanted someone more…simple? So I asked him. He looked at me like I was crazy. You know what he told me, he loves when I do because he knows I like it. And as much as he loves my yoga pants (read that, my butt in yoga pants), he likes seeing me all dressed up too.
It’s okay to be different than your spouse. It’s what gives your relationship dimension. Encouragement to grow. To change. To still be “you”, while still being “we”.